


Solace

by brownpenguinz



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Limlendez, Neil Melendez Lives, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29150886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brownpenguinz/pseuds/brownpenguinz
Summary: Post S4E6, set in AU where Melendez didn't die in S3E21 but moved to a different hospital and married Lim.
Relationships: Audrey Lim/Neil Melendez
Comments: 18
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I uploaded the first chapter a few days ago as part of different fic on FFN, and then some personal things happened in my life... Anyway, I ‘deleted’ my FFN account and going to upload things here now. Enjoy the re-upload and new chapter! 
> 
> Warning: Mentions of COVID and S2E10/E11 virus.

Lim fell from her motorcycle. She felt sheer pain on her right of the body and forehead, her vision was blurry and she's still hearing the ringing noise. She slowly walked back to her bike limping and the sound of the death pronouncement from COVID became louder and louder. She wished she could just cut her ears off at that moment. As she saw her motorcycle, she figured that she won't be able to ride it for a while and need to tow it. Lim continued walking to the curbside to sit down. She lost a bit of balanced as she's sitting down and she kept hearing the ringing noise, she was paralyzed. She reached her pocket to find her phone and sped dial directly to Melendez. She didn't even want to think how Melendez was going to react, she just want to be with him.

"Hi, when are you coming home? When should I put the chicken to the oven?" Melendez was waiting for her at their house

"I fell from my bike"

"Are you okay?! Where are you now?" Melendez rushed up from the sofa and grabbed his car key immediately. Lim could barely hear Melendez, the ringing noise made his voice muffled. She looked for find some street sign and found it as her vision becoming less blurry.

"Uhm Moorpark, just off from Main"

"Okay, that's about 10 minutes from here. Just stay there, I'm coming. Is there anyone there? Are you experiencing any pain?"

"No, it's an empty road. A bit on my forehead and right leg but it's fine. I'm sitting by the curb now"

"Okay don't move anywhere. I'll be there in 10 minutes" As Melendez started his car and drove as fast as he could without breaking the law.

Melendez found Lim sitting curled up on her knees, he leapt out of the car and brought a blanket with him. He enveloped her with blanket and gave her a hug. Lim still hearing the noises felt the warm coming from his body, she reacted by hugging him back trying to get as much warmth as she could. Melendez always made her felt safe and right now she wanted nothing more than that feeling.

"I'm going to call to tow the bike and let's get you to an ER for checkup" said Melendez while still holding Lim.

"I'm fine, it's just minor bruises. Let's just go home."

"No, we're still going to get it check. I would've died of sepsis after the earthquake if you didn't insist for me to do immediate checkup. We're not risking this." He lifted her up by her knees and carefully carried her to his car. Lim had no energy to resist or argue.

"Could we please go somewhere besides St Bonaventure, I don't want anyone to know about this" said Lim pleadingly

"Sure, let's go to SJ General, it's closer anyway"

* * *

Lim sat next to Melendez, she's feeling much better because the noises are gone, while Melendez was filling her medical form.

"Audrey Lim" the nurse called.

Melendez hold Lim's hand and slowly walk her to the patient bed.

"Hello Audrey Lim, I'm Dr Kate Florez and I'll be your doctor for today" said by a young resident as she read through the chart and entered the room. "Oh hello Dr Melendez, I didn't expect to see you here tonight". Kate was surprised to saw her attending in the room.

"Hi Kate, this is Dr Audrey Lim, my wife. She fell from motorcycle about an hour ago and I want you to run full check-up to make sure she's okay."

"Sure, we could do that. Nice to meet you Dr Lim, are you experiencing any pain?"

Lim explained the bruises and even told Dr Florez what test to get her, pretty much everything except the ringing noise and sleep deprivation. Melendez was there standing by Lim and occasionally gently rub her back to assure her that he's there. After some tests and questions.

"I don't see anything out of the ordinary, the scans all look good. Please come back immediately if anything goes wrong. I'm giving you painkiller for your forehead and the bruises should be gone in a couple of days. You're good to go Dr Lim"

"Thank you Dr Florez, have a good night" said Lim and Melendez.

Melendez felt relieved, he didn't outwardly show it but he was definitely not okay when he got the call and saw Lim curled up and her destroyed bike. He had so many questions but for now he just want to go home with Lim. The car ride was quite, they’re both very tired. Melendez looked at Lim occasionally during the drive and she had her usual resting apathetic face. Lim could felt the tiredness and tension, while Melendez didn't show it, she could feel his worry. She wanted to assure him that she's fine but probably not tonight.

"Kate has a crush on you" said Lim trying to break the silent and start a conversation.

"What?" Melendez was both surprised by the statement and the fact that Lim chose that instead of any other topic. "She knows I’m married.”

“Yeah, like that ever stops anyone.”

“Well, I can assure we that we’re just colleague. You have nothing to worry about.”

"Colleague, huh, pretty sure that's what you said about Claire too," Lim said teasingly.

Melendez turned his head to Lim on the passenger seat briefly and raised his eyebrow before looking back at the street.

"I never spend time alone with her, we always work in three. Can we please change the subject?"

"You don't need to be that defensive. I'm just teasing you" Lim chuckled, successfully lighten the mood.

Melendez chuckled back, he grabbed Lim's hand while having his eyes still on the road. He's not convinced that there's nothing wrong with Lim yet but he's relieved to see this side of her.

* * *

They arrived at their home, Melendez set down everything including the medication and towing situation while Lim headed to the shower. Technically, all the dirt from the road was only at her jacket, but she felt nasty after all that. She immediately went for hot shower, she didn't really hear the ringing noises and her vision was back to normal as she walked in. She thought it was just a phase and she's going back to normal.

As she lather her body with soap, she felt some pinches from her bruises. She looked down at her body and saw the bruises, she also noticed something else, scars on her thigh from ECMO two years ago. She hadn't paid attention to them and Melendez kept calling them beautiful but she slowly reliving her experience of being sick from the deadly virus. The dread feeling of dying and respiratory failure were coming back, she felt her chest tighten and worse of all, the ringing noise came back as loud as it was a couple hours ago. She grasped for air and tried to hold still, she slowly fell down on her knees and put her hands on her ears wishing it will all go away.

It's been 20 minutes and Melendez still heard the shower running. It normally doesn't take her longer than that to shower, maybe she's staying longer after all of this, but he decided to check in on her just in case.

"Audrey, are you still in the shower?"

Melendez didn't hear anything, he came closer to the bathroom and asked the same question, but he didn't hear any response again. He opened the bathroom to find Lim sitting on the shower floor holding hands into her ears. She's closing her eyes and looked terrified. Melendez took off most of his clothes and got into the shower. He slowly turned off the shower and sat next to her mirroring her sitting position. He put one of his hand on her and gently rubs her back from the side.

Lim slowly regained composure as the noise grows fainter, she slowly let her hands go from her ears and opened her eyes. She was comforted to find Melendez there next to her.

"Do you want to get up and dry your body?" Melendez asked softly

"Yes"

"Okay" Melendez stood up first and helped Lim to gain balance.

Melendez dried himself and got some PJs before helping Lim to do the same. They tucked themselves into bed, finally ready to go to sleep after a long night.

"Neil" said Lim as she turned her body to Melendez

"Hm" Melendez also turned to Lim

"I normally don't like it because it gets too hot in the middle of the night, but can you hold me"

"Yes, of course."

Melendez pulled Lim's body toward him, Lim put her head on his chest, his steady heart beat soothed her. With the warmth from Melendez and her painkiller meds drowsiness, she slept peacefully that night for the first time in a few weeks.

* * *

Lim woke up and tried to opened her eyes, the windows were opened and the bright sunlight went directly to her eyes. She felt someone was playing with her hair. She tilted her head up a bit and saw Melendez's smile.

"Good morning. How's your sleep?"

"Good, probably the best I've ever had. What time is this?"

"11am"

"Why didn't you wake me up?! I'm late for work." Lim tried to break free from Melendez to get out of bed but Melendez held her still to calm her down.

"I already called Glassman and told him you're sick"

Lim pulled back a bit from Melendez and he let her go "Did you tell him about the accident?"

"No, I didn't give any details besides that you can't come today"

"I have a budget meeting today"

"They push all meetings that absolutely need you and let Andrews take in charge for other things today. It will be fine, just rest."

"Okay" Lim pouted but realizing it's too late to come anyway. "Why are you still here? Don't you have work to do"

"No, I also take a sick day off, my wife is sick and I need to take care of her"

"That's really sweet of you but I'm fine. We already went to the ER to prove that"

"All those scans and tests were not comprehensive enough, they couldn't tell us more important thing"

"Which is?"

"Someone's mental state"

Lim raised her eyebrows, she knew where this is going but going to play dumb instead

"What are you trying to say?"

"How are you feeling? Mentally?"

"I'm fine, Neil. I'm just tired as everybody is"

"You've been riding motorcycle for years at possibly illegal speed and never fall, what change?"

"I just lost balance" She sat herself on the bed and Melendez copied her movement. Lim was playing with her hand and avoiding Melendez's eyes.

"Were you distracted? I know biking supposed to clear your head, but was there something that you can't cleared and bothered you?"

Lim fell silence, she didn't want to respond to that. Melendez took of her hands and rubs them gently waiting for her to answer. Melendez kept waiting until Lim couldn’t handle the silence.

"I'm hearing noises, high pitch noise" Lim paused and took a deep breath "I'm also reliving some of the my worst memory of pronouncing many deaths from COVID and my own experience when I almost died by similar virus two years ago"

"Oh Audrey" Melendez pulled her and put her head on his shoulder and gently pat her head.

"How long you have experiencing these"

"I've been having hard time sleeping but I heard the noise loud and clear during work yesterday. I tried to brush it off but it was so loud and I fell off the bike yesterday. Then it was gone for a while but came back when I showered" Melendez lifted her face and look straight to her eyes.

"Are you still hearing it now"

"No, not right now."

"That's good."

Melendez was about to bring more questions before Lim's stomach loud growl interrupted the conversation.

"Oops, sorry, I hadn't eaten for a while"

"I'm actually pretty hungry too. Let me make us some breakfast"

Melendez was heating up the pan and cracked the eggs while Lim waited on the other side of kitchen counter.

"So what should we do while we're not both working?"

"We can talk more about the noises, maybe figure out where it's coming from?"

"It’s just a onetime thing, I’m fine now. Can we please talk about anything else?" Lim grunted

Melendez wasn't surprised by the response, frankly he was happy enough for Lim to share about the noise. He still wanted to help her dealing with it and wondered what causes it but knowing Lim for years, he knew he better to stop pushing for now.

"Sure, what do you want to do today?"

"Can you drive me to a car dealer? I want to buy my own car, I already know the model and even thought of a custom plate for it."

"Are you serious? I thought you're just going to fix the Ducati and back in no time."

"I will, but I also think it's time to finally own a car, it's not too late to do that at age 37. Don't you think?"

Melendez took this as another clue that there's really something wrong with his Lim and he definitely won't let this go.

"Sure" Melendez smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

Lim and Melendez spent that day negotiating a car for Lim, once they agreed on the price, it’s already late in the day. Lim brought the new car home while Melendez got a take out on the way. Lim sat comfortably on the sofa while Melendez unpacked the take out.

“Alright, here’s your food and utensils”

“Thanks”

“Are you excited about your new car?”

“Very, I’ve been looking into it for a while so it’s exciting to actually drive it”

Melendez paused, he never saw Lim looking at cars so it bothered him that she already had a model in mind a day after her accident.

“When did you look for a car? I never see you checking out car websites”

“When you’re asleep, you’re a deep sleeper and I just scroll through my phone without making much movement in bed”

“How many models did you look for?”

“Quite a lot, I had a rough idea of my ideal car but I need to know the specific model and do a lot of comparisons”

“So you haven’t been sleeping much at all then”

Lim sighed, she realized she just fell under the trap and now have to talk about it. “Yes”

“Why you never mentioned to me about it?”

“I thought it’s not a big deal and it will go away. Besides, you’re exhausted and sounded stress these days, I don’t want to add more to your burden.”

“You’re my wife, we promised to share our burden to one another. Do you think I couldn’t handle it?” Melendez showed a bit of his frustration, he wanted to give Lim time but the more he thought about it during that day, he actually felt betrayed that Lim is hiding this from him.

“No, that’s not what I meant...”

“Then why?”

“I just don’t want you to worry.”

“It’s my job to worry about you.”

Melendez kept his eye contact while Lim is trying to avoid his. He will not let this go and can see her lie easily. Lim could pull an easy way out of this conversation by accusing him as a meanie to a traumatized person but she knew better, Melendez is doing this out of his love for her.

“I want to deal with it at my own time and pace, not yours.”

“That’s fair. Here’s a question, in your timeline, when do you plan to tell me about it?”

Lim couldn’t answer, because she didn’t plan to do it. In her imagination, the problem will go away by itself and she won’t have to deal with this at all.

Melendez dropped a heavy sighed.

“Okay, you clearly don’t want me to be part of your life.” Melendez finished his meal and stood up from the sofa. “I’m going to shower and go to bed now, my shift starts early tomorrow.”

Lim was left dumbfounded, she couldn’t believe what just happened. She was the victim of traumatizing experiences and Melendez took really good care of comforting her and now she’s suddenly the selfish villain.

She waited for a couple hours before going to the bedroom, Melendez was already sleeping in bed, his body is facing the opposite of her side.

Lim’s shift also starts early and she will need to catch up with the work she missed today. She took the pain medications again, it doesn’t hurt as much but she likes the drowsiness effect to help her sleep.

* * *

“No, no” muttered Lim quietly, her body started becoming restless.

Melendez felt the movement and turned his body to see Lim, she was muttering some words and her body is sweating and shaking.

“Audrey, are you okay?” Melendez tap his hands gently to Lim’s cheek

Lim didn’t respond and keep muttering words “Don’t die”

Melendez shook her shoulder a bit harder which was enough to wake her up. She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Melendez, she immediately reached out to him and hugged him tightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Please don’t ever leave me” Lim said pantingly

“Of course, I will never leave you”

Lim’s heartbeat was so strong and erratic that Melendez could feel it being close to her. Melendez kept holding her and gently stroking her hair. After a few minutes, she finally calmed down and her heartbeat was steady again.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, it was just a nightmare.”

“What was the it? The virus?”

“No, worse. I relived the sadness when we broke up shortly after my promotion and then you died during the earthquake before I can tell how much I love you. I took our time together for granted and acting like the most selfish human. I’m sorry for not telling you about my problem, please don’t ever leave me.” A few tears flowed from Lim’s eyes.

Melendez wiped her tears gently with his hand, “Hey, I was frustrated that you didn’t tell me but I will never leave you, okay?”

Lim nodded slowly.

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow after work. Do you think you can continue sleeping tonight?”

“I think so” Lim

“I love you, Audrey”

“I love you too, Neil”

“Do you want me to hold you?”

“Yes”

* * *

“How was your day?” Melendez sat down on the sofa where Lim is sitting comfortably working on her laptop.

Lim closed her laptop and put it aside “It was okay, the fourth years were asking about my bruises and my car on the parking lot”

“What did you say?”

“I hit my head to the cupboard and sold the Ducati”

Melendez raised his eyebrow of Lim’s blatant lie

“I just told you, my husband, about my problem a day ago, you think I will tell others?”

“No”

“There you go”

“How’s yours?”

“Uneventful, which is nice. All surgeries were minors and standard procedures.”

“Oh, talking about interesting patient, one dumbass did the CRISPR to optimize his telomerase activity to extend his life.”

“You can do that?”

“Apparently, he also created a new cocktail of disease which was similar amyloidosis and we needed to take his spleen.”

Melendez shook his head “What a dumbass”, Lim chuckled in agreement.

Melendez’s face turned serious, he took Lim’s hand and started talking “Anyway, about last night, I’m sorry for coming too strong. I knew how hard it is for you… I was really scared when I heard about your accident, I thought I was going to lose you forever. So it bothered me even more when you’ve been having issue but didn’t tell me about it, the accident could’ve been prevented...” Melendez paused “I think we need to acknowledge that all of these events: the viruses, earthquake, and motorcycle accident, they affect both of us greatly. We need to deal with it as a couple.”

“Yeah I agree. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, I genuinely thought that the problem will go away. I do want you to be part of my life.”

They both smiled and Melendez pulled Lim to kiss her.

“Now that it’s not going away, what are you going to do with it”

Lim shrugged

“Should we make a psychiatrist appointment? I’m worried that you’re not getting enough sleep but even more worried about the ringing noises. What if it comes back in the OR or when you’re driving? It could get very fatal very quickly”

“I guess. Is it really necessary?”

“What would you suggest otherwise?”

Lim didn’t say a word.

“Do you have problem going to the psychiatrist?” Melendez genuinely asked

“I just don’t think it’s a big deal, going to psychiatrist seems like making it a bigger problem than it is.”

“It is a big problem, you’re clearly traumatized and the trauma manifested into nightmares and ringing noises.” Melendez paused “I will never think less of you just because you go to a psychiatrist.”

“Okay.” Lim replied sheepishly.

“Okay?” Melendez asked for confirmation.

“Yeah, I will set up an appointment” Lim was not fully convinced but she’s going to get along for now.

* * *

Lim went to the psychiatrist on the next Saturday, Melendez gave her a ride and waited outside.

“So, how was it?”

“I got official PTSD diagnosis after one meeting so that’s got to be a world record” Lim replied sarcastically. “But more seriously, they asked me a bunch of questions, prescribed me medications and told me to come back soon”

“Okay, that’s good. Should we go to pharmacy on the way home?”

“No, I’m not taking it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want medications.”

Melendez raised his eyebrow of genuine confusion “That still doesn’t answer my question”

“I haven’t heard the noises since the accident, I’ve been sleeping better since. I’ll just deal with it on my own term. Without medication.”

“There’s nothing wrong with medication.”

“I know, I just don’t want to.”

Melendez is scratching his head “How is that different than taking your pain meds as your sleeping pill? You’re practically under medication right now” Melendez raised his voice a bit out of frustration.

Lim was took by a surprised. How could Melendez say something like that. She started walking to the different direction from Melendez’s car

“Where are you going? The parking lot is this way”

“Taking the scenic bus route, I don’t want to be with you right now”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even after his death, the TGD writers still hate Limlendez so much that Lim couldn’t even mention Melendez name on S4E9. I deleted my instagram long time ago so my fanfic A/N is my venting place. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Real A/N: I’ve been enjoying posting shorter updates so they will be roughly ~1000 words each.

Melendez was watching TV mindlessly waiting for Lim on the couch. Melendez heard the noise as Lim came in, he went to the front door to greet her.

“Welcome back” Melendez said cheeringly, he’s been waiting for her for hours.

“Hello” Lim replied as she removed her shoes and coat.

“Have you had dinner? I made some pasta”

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry” Lim walked to the living room and Melendez followed her.

“I saw a new restaurant open just off First St, we should check it out soon” said Lim as she sat down on the couch and Melendez did the same thing.

“Sounds good to me” Melendez sat himself close to Lim and looked straight into her eyes. “So, can we talk about what happened today?”

“Yes” Lim gave Melendez a cue to continue talking

“I’m sorry for accusing you about the pain meds. But I don’t understand why you don’t want to take medication.”

“It’s more than just the medication, the whole experience is..” Lim tried to find the right word that described her experience “unpleasant”

“What do you mean?”

“I have to talk to a complete stranger. Reliving and describing some of the most excruciating moments in my life to someone I barely know.” Lim started looking down, she didn’t want to see Melendez facial reaction.

“First session will always be the hardest, but as you go along, you’ll get to know your therapist better and you’ll feel less pressure” Melendez placed his hand on top of Lim’s reassuring her that he’s there for her.

“What do you know about psychiatrist? Have you ever been in one?” said Lim in a accusing tone, she lifted her head and looked at Melendez eyes.

“Hmm.. Not a psychiatrist but a child psychologist.”

“Wait, what?”

“Long time ago, right after accident Gabi’s accident… It was not my fault but I felt guilty for not able to somehow save her…”

“Oh Neil, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that”

“That’s fine, I never tell this to anyone… My teacher noticed that I behaved differently, I stopped playing during recess and was sad all the time. The school counselor told my parents and referred me to a psychologist. It was really hard at first for me to open up but I got comfortable eventually and got the help I need.”

“Do you still think about it now?”

“Sometimes, I still can vividly remember the day she fell. I guess in a weird way being a surgeon and losing patients helped me. I learn to let go things I cannot control.”

“Yeah...”

Melendez cleared his throat “If you don’t like your psychiatrist, we can find another one, but please keep going. It takes time to bond and feel comfortable, at first it might even makes you feel worse. But don’t give up, I promise it will get better”

Lim started looking down again and didn’t respond

“Would it help if I come along with you next time?”

“Maybe” said Lim unconvincingly.

Lim still looking down, Melendez knew there’s still something bothering her

“Is there anything else still bothering you?”

Lim didn’t respond. Melendez lifted her chin and gave her the most comforting look he could give. “You know you can tell me anything”

“I worked really hard to be chief, I still don’t know if I would’ve got it without your help… I can’t allow myself to have a problem. What if people start thinking that I can’t handle this and ask me to step down?”

“First of all, you deserve to be chief, with or without my help you would’ve got it.” Lim responded with a smile. Melendez continued “And yes, some people might think that, these people don’t understand. But that’s where you can prove them wrong, you can overcome this, with therapy and medication.”

Lim stayed silent, she kind of agreed with Melendez but she still didn’t want to accept that reality.

“The virus has left a permanent damage on us, for some it’s physical for others it’s mental. You need to stop pretending of something that’s not true, you’re not fine and need help, Audrey.”

“Okay fine, I will take the prescribed medication. We’ll see about the therapy, I think I need more time to be ready to talk to other again”

“That’s great!” Melendez was ecstatic to hear that. He wished her to continue talk therapy sooner but he took that as a major victory. And she’s probably right, it must be very stressful for her to talk about it to other people. Being vulnerable has never been her strong point.

Lim stood up from the sofa to grab two glasses and an opened bourbon bottle. She handed one glass to Melendez, Melendez was a bit confused at first.

“I won’t be able to drink bourbon once I start taking the medication” she poured the bourbon on her glass. Melendez moved his hand so she could fill his glass too. “Can you promise not to drink some of our stash by yourself?”

“Sure, I’ll wait for you” Melendez smiled at Lim, they clinked their glasses and enjoyed their bourbon for the night.

* * *

The next day Lim filled her medication and she stopped taking her pain medication and drinking alcohol. These changes totally threw her off, her insomnia returned which made her more tired and on the edge during the day. She became snappier at work, especially toward the interns, but she tried not to do that at home because Melendez will notice it very quickly. She loves Melendez to death and grateful for him, but she also wanted him to stop worrying and left her alone for a bit.

About a week since Lim took the medication, she heard the ringing noise again during open pterional craniotomy procedure. She’s been doing surgeries since but this is the first time that something went wrong and the beeping alarm triggered her trauma. Right after the procedure, she went to her office to be alone and called Melendez.

“Hey what’s up? You don’t normally call in the middle of the day”

“The ringing noise came back in the OR. I don’t know if I can do surgery anymore”


End file.
